Daniel Hitler, Taylor Swift & Das Ubermensch Skits
After the final encore at Taylor Swift Concerts
SKIT 1
Daniel and Taylor walk on stage.
'It is I. Daniel Hitler. The ruler of the Third Reich. I shall rule America. You will all be – my slaves.'
Daniel turns and looks at Taylor.
'Ah. My Jewish Nazi Bride. A true Aryan blonde. I am proud of you.'
Das Ubermensch (Greg) enters on the side of the stage.
Daniel says 'Das Ubermensch,' in surprise.
'I shall oppose you. For freedom,' says Das Ubermensch.
Das Ubermensch and Daniel Hitler fight. Taylor Kicks Daniel Hitler and says 'That's for cheating on me, asshole.'
They rise and bow to the stage.
They walk off and Daniel says 'That hurt,' rubbing his butt. Taylor says 'good.' Daniel says 'Bitch' and Taylor pokes her tongue at him. Taylor's head reappears briefly and she says 'Bye.'
SKIT 2
Daniel and Taylor come on stage.
'As your future fuhrer, I will remake the world. You shall all crumble.'
Das Ubermensch appears.
'I shall fight for justice,' says Das Ubermensch.
They arm wrestle. Taylor says 'Get him Superman. Kick his nazi butt.'
Das Ubermensch wins.
Daniel Hitler says 'I shall return. And I shall be invincible next time.'
They leave stage. Taylor says bye again.
SKIT 3
Daniel Hitler and Taylor Swift sit down at a table.
Daniel says 'I shall order. Of course.' the waitress comes. 'Black Forest Cake. German Black Forest cake.'
The waitress leaves.
'Nice Day,' says Daniel. 'Good day for a war, I think.'
'Your a devil,' replies Taylor.
'Takes one to know one,' says Daniel.
'True,' replies Taylor, and sticks out her tongue at the audience.
The waitress returns with the cake.
'I shall purify you from your liberties,' says Daniel Hitler.
Taylor eats some cake. 'Good cake,' she says. 'But I like my liberties Mr Hitler.'
Daniel eats some cake.
'Yah, good cake.'
'I can cook cake,' says Taylor.
'As long as it's black forest cake,' says Daniel.
'What about an Angel Cake?' asks Taylor.
'Your talking to the wrong fuhrer on that one sweetcheeks.'
'Black forest cake it is. But I'll leave out the icing. You don't deserve any.'
'Cheapskate,' says Daniel.
Das Ubermensch enters. He presents angel cake to Mr Hitler.
'Have some,' says Das Ubermensch.
Daniel eats some. He collapses (Exaggeratingly) and dies on the stage floor.
'I suspected a heart attack. But the angel did him in,' says Taylor.
They all bow, and leave the stage.